Now, I am switching to a new topic: Conscious Departure. This whole notion came my way me when I realized I wanted to face my death with eyes wide open:
Although I would not have known how to define the words ‘conscious departure’ six months ago, I now recognize that my whole life has been lived in order to get to this singular moment and to do it consciously, fully awake and aware (A Mad Desire for God, p. 133).
There could be no more denial about the fact that I was facing death and wanted a fully conscious departure.
From A Mad Desire for God (pp. 120-133):
Departure from material existence can be conscious or not, but our final departure must be in full conscious awareness. When this happens, according to Buddhism, we get off the Karmic wheel and achieve enlightenment. In Christianity we are judged by St. Peter, with only the few reckoned worthy to enter ‘the Pearly Gates.’
It was only after being diagnosed with cancer that I began to fully prepare to make such a passage. It took me months just to get my personal house in order. Part of this had to do with prioritizing my own desires. [. . . ] (p. 120).
The Lady’s Guidance for Me on Conscious Departure
I. Spiritually, my basic daily practice is to deepen my connection to Gourasana and Kalindi (i.e., the ones who were for me conduits of God’s Love and Truth).
II. Materially, I was given a program on Conscious Departure created in 1996 by a fellow disciple, Dr. Vince Roger, M.D. In this program, Dr. Roger says “The Conscious Departure Program is intended to provide you and your family with a complete and clear summary of all your end-of-life information and advanced planning” (p. 127).
At The Lady’s suggestion I planned every detail around my dying – from organizing my contact information to the music played at my memorial service. I reviewed and revised my last will and testament, focusing on personal care for my daughter and for the mission to which I had dedicated my life.
I wrote goodbye letters to family and friends and made talks for Kaya to hear each year on her birthday through the age of eighteen. (p. 129)
I’m grateful that I have been able to destroy the first talk I made for Kaya to hear on her twelfth birthday.
Note: The eBook of A Mad Desire for God is now available for purchase through my website. The eBook version is available for Kindles, Nooks and iPads and can be ordered simply by clicking on the link https://amaddesireforgod.com and choosing “ORDER NOW.”
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