Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D. (July 8, 1926 – August 24, 2004)
Live, so you do not have to look back and say: “God, how I have wasted my life.”
In 1969, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross came up with a ground-breaking model on typical responses that many face when dealing with a life-threatening illness or event that drastically changes their life (like a job change, a divorce or another major change associated with loss).
The Five Stages
The five stages of coping [are] described by Kübler-Ross in her classic book On Death and Dying in 1969. The stages have been abbreviated as DABDA and stand for:
- D – Denial
- A – Anger
- B – Bargaining
- D – Depression
- A – Acceptance
The five stages of the Kübler-Ross’ stage model are the best-known description of the emotional and psychological responses that many people experience when faced with a life-threatening illness or life-changing situation. These stages don’t only apply to loss as a result of death but may also occur in someone who experiences a different life-changing event such as a divorce or loss of a job.
These stages are not meant to be complete or chronological. Not everyone who experiences a life-threatening or life-changing event feels all five of the responses nor will everyone who does experience them do so in the order that is written. Reactions to illness, death, and loss are as unique as the person experiencing them.
Kübler-Ross’ Model Criticized
This model has since been criticized for its oversimplification, but nevertheless remains one of the clearest and best-known theories on the stages of grief. Since she wrote On Death and Dying, many more books on this topic have been written. Now, there are whole sections of bookstores dedicated to death and dying and how to deal with loss.
I can say I went through three of the phases: Denial, Depression an Acceptance. They were not chronological. More than not, I would come out of one mood and flip right into another. I never knew what to say when people asked me how am I doing. I do my best to tell the truth at all times without scaring the people around me. But since I wrote this book as a testimony for others to see how I have lived my path, and do whatever they will with my stories
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